Duane Beckett
Modern medicine has come a long way from the days when people tried almost anything to treat illness. Some old remedies were genuinely advanced for their time. Yet others sound like scenes from a bad horror movie. These six medical practices show how far medicine had to travel before science caught up.
Crocodile dung contraceptives
According to CBS News, crocodile dung was once used in ancient Egypt as a contraceptive. It was dried, mixed into a pessary, and inserted into the vagina before sex. The idea was blunt but simple; it was supposed to form a barrier and stop pregnancy.
Other sources connect similar Egyptian contraceptive formulas to papyri from around 1850 B.C. Strange as it sounds now, people believed the mixture could block conception or affect sperm. On the one hand, it shows ancient Egyptians understood how people got pregnant. On the other hand, crocodile dung is a very odd item to use for family planning.
Skull drilling to let trouble out
I’ve handled enough oddball antiques to know people once made some wild tools, but trepanation sits in its own category. Business Insider reported that trepanning involved drilling or scraping holes into a person’s skull, with evidence going back to the Neolithic period.
It was used on people thought to have seizures, mental disorders, head injuries, or trapped bad spirits. Some believed opening the skull could release pressure or let evil forces escape. The practice lasted in different forms for centuries, though modern skull surgery is obviously far more controlled and medically grounded.
Smoking, but not as we knew it
In 1746, one recorded case involved a woman pulled from water and treated with tobacco smoke blown into her rectum. AAMC states that tobacco enemas became popular in the 18th century, especially for trying to revive drowning victims. Doctors used pipes first, then bellows, because blowing by mouth was dangerous and, frankly, disgusting.
The smoke was supposed to warm the body, dry the insides, and stimulate breathing. Later, the practice spread to headaches, stomach cramps, hernias, and cholera. It faded in the 1800s as physicians learned more about anatomy.
Mercury for syphilis
The Science Museum states that mercury was used to treat syphilis from the 16th century into the 19th century. Patients swallowed it, rubbed it on the skin, took it as an elixir, or sat in enclosed spaces breathing mercury vapor.
Doctors thought heavy sweating, salivation, and urination meant the disease was being purged from the body. Ohio State Medical Center adds that mercury was used for venereal diseases because syphilis was once thought to be related to leprosy. The cure could be brutal, as mercury poisoning caused nerve damage, ulcers, tooth loss, organ failure, and death.
The Katzenklavier
STAT reported that the Katzenklavier, or cat piano, was tied to German medical scientist Johann Christian Reil in the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Cats were placed in a box with their tails set near keys. The function was for a patient to press a key, which would strike a tail, and the cat’s cry could be heard. It’s really awful stuff.
Alarmingly, this wasn’t entertainment like a weird old carnival machine. It was described as a mood-lifting device for mental health treatment, meant to shock patients back into emotional response. It sounds ridiculous, but it is a real medical contraption from history.
Powdered mummy medicine
Powdered mummy, often called mumia, was made from Egyptian mummies or mummy-like preserved remains and sold by European apothecaries. Medical News Today states that mumia was widely used in Europe from at least the 12th through the 17th centuries, and sometimes beyond.
The Smithsonian Magazine found that Europeans used mummy remedies for problems such as internal bleeding, headaches, and epilepsy. People believed preserved flesh, bone, bitumen, and the supposed “spirit” left in human remains had healing power.
As a collector of strange old things, I get the fascination, but eating them for medicine is where I step off.